The Lie

Sometimes, I create art (or comics, or whatever) as a sort of personal therapy to work through some of the more intense negative emotions and situations I end up in. I have numerous "darker" pieces that punctuate my "Fine" Artwork like staccato beats in an orchestra playing Brahms lullaby. Ok... not quite like that, but I loved the mental image that particular sentance gave, so had to keep it ;)

Actually, I rarely show my darker pieces to more than a few people. I do have one up at renderosity.com - (user name: melikia) - but you have to sign up & sign in to see it, as I have all sorts of tags & warnings on it - its one that seriously shocks when you first view it. I even had to add in a disclaimer that I was safe, physically & etc due to the setup for potential violence in the image itself. Its also the only image I have ever gotten a warning on from the staff there - not the image itself which was not in violation of the ToS, but for my thumbnail. Thankfully, I was allowed to present my reasons for creating my thumbnail the way I did and not abiding by their own rules for introducing the idea of mature content in the thumbnail.... as my reasons made perfect sense (their own thumbnail we are SUPPOSED to use, i felt was too generic and bland, and the image needed more of a warning - a LOT more). I won, and my thumbnail still stands.




Now, the back-story for this particular piece.

I was lied to for 6 months... my mate spent SIX MONTHS sneaking cigs behind my back and telling me lies to my face. Even when he went to confess, he STILL lied for over an hour saying it had only been a few days, until I managed to get everything out of him.

When we first started dating, I told him that the one thing that kills a relationship faster than anything else is dishonesty, and as long as he was honest with me - anything else could be worked through.

Without honesty... without truth.... there can be no trust.

We are carefully rebuilding our relationship - and he has, so far, abided by my ultimatum. Either he kisses a cigarette, or he kisses me. In other words - choose. There's no room for both in his life, not when one of them represents a 6-month-long lie.

Im doing what I can to support him in this. He chose to be with me... I can choose to set aside my pain long enough to help him with something that IS extremely difficult. I'm still crying way too easily (going through the grief cycle)... and haven't been my usual bubbly self. A fact I'm sure my fellow students noticed, but thankfully didn't comment on.... I couldnt even tell the whole truth to the instructor... I simply said I had only had 4 hours sleep (truth), and my chronic fatigue/fibro (I tend to use those terms interchangeably - anyone who has them should understand that - heck, even my docs do LOL) was acting up (truth, but not to the degree it could be with all the stress I'm under).

As I said... things are getting better...

I'll post what I turned in for homework this past week here in a bit, I have to take care of the raw scans first, and then... turn my attention to a script for a 1 page (6 to 9 panel) comic that is to be a collaboration.

fun fun. =D

(credits for image: Poser 7 for setup, Aiko 3, Hiro 3, Daz: A3 ponytail, Wedgecut 2, Kioku pants & shoes (aiko), sacred luna top (aiko). Adzan - love outfit for Hiro. Photoshop, and my wacom tablet (traced the original image LOL))